Change of season

Change is at the heart of Psychotherapy and as the Summer drifts out of view and the scent of Autumn draws closer, I always find myself wondering about change.  How do we bring about change and what stops us from changing? 

When life becomes challenging many of us want change, a desire to gain something different.  However, with that gain there is inevitably a loss, the loss of how life used to be, the familiar.  I think everyone tends to get caught in a binary attitude towards change.  People either fear it or relish it.  Some love the idea of fires, chunky boots and jumpers.  They are excited by what Autumn offers.  Whilst others are clamouring for their flip flops, not ready to lose their toe freedom of Summer. 

Change brings uncertainty which, for some, can be exciting but for others unsettling.  I think it’s vital for us all to acknowledge not only the welcome changes that Autumn brings but also the loss.  Our enjoyment in life very much rests on our ability to tolerate the truth of life.  When we try and deny or resist the truth, suffering often arises.  The truth of change is that it brings gain and loss, benefit and cost.  Change of season brings benefits but there will also be a cost. 

If change evokes fear in you, can you acknowledge that fear whilst also recognising what might be gained?  Equally, if change is always a source of excitement, can you also be aware of what you may be losing?  We are often told to aim for balance in life. 

It seems that balancing the excitement and fear of change is like learning the steps of a dance.  It requires movement between the two, a push and pull momentum.  Let’s hope we can dance under falling autumnal leaves!

by Kirsty Coltart

UKCP Registered Pyschotherapist and Counsellor